Let’s see if we can figure this one out. Fairly simple ground for indignation (I’m providing… one minutt yaar) but has nice potential to reveal just how deep-seated patriarchal notions run (particularly the whole responsibility discussion that is sure to arise). It is also rather frightening to encounter these notions when they are held by allies who suddenly betray having a perversely gendered moral canvas so irritatingly naturalized and weaved into a hundred other socio-cultural minutia that you’re left wondering where in the world to begin the unpacking process. So, here’s an older post I stumbled upon at Blank Noise Project’s website (dedicated to criminalizing street harassment/ ‘eve teasing’ in India) on whether “consent” while wasted is really consent at all. Yes, we are talking about rape (or not?). They referred to a case where a college student got so drunk that she didn’t realize she’d had sex in the corridor of her dorm. Upon realization that the security guard she was sent home with for safety purposes actually raped her, she filed charges. Rapist got away though because a lazy prosecution and a slimy defense damned her for being unable to recollect whether she consented to sex or not. Blank Noise threw it out there as something to think about and*(@^#!, priceless discussion. The fury and rage provoked by some of the comments to the Blank Noise post are simmering as I type this. Some choice selections:
“I agree with the statement, "Drunken consent is still consent". I think it was extremely irresponsible of the girl to not take care when we read about predators every day! And what is the proof that she didnt really consent. By being irresponsible enough to get so drunk as to lose sense of everything around her, I think she just lost her credibility.Also, from the comment above, it seems as if she expects the people at the party (her friends or whoever) to take her responsibility when she was clearly not in a state to do so....I mean, why in the world should anyone else care when she herself doesnt care?????”
That, from a woman too (tearing hair out tearing hair out). Come, let’s all arbitrarily decide whose welfare should be prioritized.
“…..Its an established fact that inhibitions go down after drinking. They call alcohol as panty remover. Adding a clause which likens sex while drunk to rape would open a flood gate of frivolous charges…..”
Are you fucking kidding me?! Aside from the crass synonym for alcohol that genius quoted here decided to share, what do we make of the last line?
“…So, does that mean, if a girl is drunk, she is consenting to sex? Does being drunk equate with consent towards sex? And if a person is not in a state to say 'yes' or 'no', and another person takes adavntage of her, does that mean a 'consent'? In truth, there is nothing like 'drunken consent', the term is ridiculous…”
Ok. Progress made.
“We are not living in the wild wild west. Drinking by a woman ( that too outdoors) is social anti-thesis. The lady is responsible for her predicament. Knowing that Man is a tail-less monkey, and knowing Darwin's thoery of evolution ( man descended from monkeys) - to provoke a monkey and crying "foul" is foolishness of the highest order. My only regret is - why I never came across such a woman IN MY LIFE !! Well, life is not always fair, buddy !!”
And WTF??!!?!? CreepyUncleji, women who drink outdoors (outside of the inner sanctum of domesticity and the household) are probably running in the opposite direction, far far away from you and your monkey mates. P.s. I'm also superrrglad I had a drink in hand (don't worry, INdoors so not that transgressive!) as I read your asinine two cents.
“…if both parties are drunk, it's their business. But if the man was sober and conscious of the fact she was drunk, i think it was morally abhorrent that he made a pass at her, and took advantage of her situation. And yeah, the 'irresponsible" argument i think, is completely redundant as what is 'responsible' is 1) subjective to socio-cultural values of a person, 2) it's not a facotr that makes any kind of sexual assault more acceptable, or less abhorrent.”
“…man, all the time they like it when theyre drunk and laid (it goes for the male sex too) but when it's over, then the guilt sets in (it's a conservative society after all and anyway people get drunk and laid because they are trying not to face too much reality and like to get in some pleasure edgeways) ..and then the anger and then of course why not slap a suit on to the guy whose attention you enjoyed drunkenly? Poor soul,this woman! The worst kind of woman is this kind who turns her own weakness into an accusatory weapon against men!!!…”
And we’re back - to the worst kind of man.
I’ve had it up to here with patriarchy.
Also. Hi. I’m one of the lazy members of this site that never posts. I don’t do grammar. But but but ... I do run-on sentences. Lots of em. Enjoy.
I also have a lame name that I have to change. Working on it.